I was thinking recently about how during times of trial it seems like God takes a personal day.  Why is it that when I need him the most, he seems nowhere to be found?  I think Jesus feels something similar in scripture. When Jesus is hanging on the cross he cries, “Lord why have you forsaken me?” I take a bit of comfort in knowing this is isn’t an original feeling.

When crisis strikes, if we are honest, we all have felt this way. When our relationships fail, our business struggles, someone betrays us, it feels like the world is caving. It feels like God is eerily silent. In our lives we become restless, angry, hurt and scared.

First we have to ask, does God leave? Is he absent? Here is the reality. “Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5. I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matt 28:20  No, he doesn’t leave. He is with us in our darkest hour, and when things are great. We know this. This isn’t new information. In fact, it can be down right infuriating when someone tries to correct our poor theology in times like these. 

 So why do we respond this way? What about the way we live and think leads us to be tossed around like we are?

We let our experience dictate what the unseen reality is, rather then what it truly is. The truth is-he is with us and he loves us. Our experience tries to re-teach our hearts about who God is, and it’s hard to divorce our experience from the truth. Most of us have stories that just plain suck. If you don’t yet, just wait. It’s life. Stuff happens.

At every university we are taught that knowledge trumps everything. So why does that work in everything, but life?

Well, because it doesn’t work that way. Knowledge and experience are married together. They can’t be separated. I want to argue that we all learn this way. We learn with our heart and our head. The woman at the well illustrates this well. She knows all about the Messiah and what he would do for the world. In the scripture she has great theology. She understands who he is, and she still lives the way she does. She has six lovers. Jesus meets her at the well and moves with the power of the Spirit and boom, life change. The experience of God’s power with his truth brought real change.

The problem is that the enemy doesn’t care if you open to his movement in your life. Experience will come you way, and you will get a dose of a new reality. The Holy Spirit on the other hand is a gentleman. He doesn’t force himself on you.  As Christians we have fallen asleep to his reality. The enemy takes what isn’t his and God has invited you into freedom. Its an invitation we need to respond to. He is always open and is desiring to meet you and heal you. It’s Ironic that we are open to experience life in the most negative way, but we can be closed off to his Spirit. This simply makes no sense.

My whole point is that when you feel like God is away, ask God to send his Spirit to come and make his truth a reality. It’s normal to feel the way you do. You are not alone, and God wants to meet you.

What if we actually believed that God wanted to come into every part of our life and transform it?  What if God is actually interested healing every bad experience and hurt you have. What if God really wanted to rush in and do miracle after miracle?

Healing is an interesting beast. When you break you leg, there is a period when you have to stay off of it. The only responsible thing is stay off it.  After a while, you have to start moving it around to re-hab it. It’s a really painful process because muscle atrophies and well.. that just sucks. Then, sometimes you need corrective surgery to make things right. Then sometimes God just touches you and says, “No more. Go run like you were meant to.”

It has been an interesting journey of healing for me. I’ve come to realize that I’m never going to arrive. Not that things haven’t been made right, but because I’ve always been in need of healing. At first, I thought it was a bad thing. I’m starting think it points more to real health.

I’ve been dealing with some really weird almost phobia like fears that started within the past 4 years. It has been really debilitating in my life. I would get to the point of having shortness of breath at times. Along with that, I’ve been really confused mentally in different social situations. It almost felt like social anxiety mixed with ADD. I thought that I could just work through them as I stepped out. I’ve come to find out tiime does not heal all wounds, it only buries them.

I’ve been to multiple counselors and prayed through some of the stuff myself, but I just wasn’t getting through it. Last week I made a phone call to someone in our church that connects people to prayer ministers. It really felt like I was calling a mob boss. So, I hear you know people who can take care of these sort of things…Anyway, I pulled up to a house at 8:30 p.m. and met two guys I’ve never met before. I felt slightly crazy, but man I wanted to get free from this stuff. They prayed for me for about an hour and asked me a few questions to guide them through my baggage. Man, I had more junk in the trunk that I was even aware of! We prayed for a while and nothing crazy happend, but I remembered feeling lighter.  It was a really normal prayer session with two awesome guys going to bat for me.

The next day I was in a classic situation that I would normally break down in and I had total freedom. I had total peace and I’m completely free! Not only that, my mind was clear as a bell. It’s hard to explain how big of a healing this is for me, but I feel like I have my life back again. I’m so glad to be part of a family that takes care of each other. I know I’m not finished, but this one felt good.

Inactivity is activity if you in that part of the healing, but then you have to start moving the broken stuff around. You might have to drive to a strangers house to get the healing you need. Its all God work, but it’s our job to open the door and let him in. Don’t settle for being burnt out, bitter, and angry. You weren’t designed for that. We have a God that is more than capable.

It has been a while since I’ve blogged. I took a hiatus for a bit because I had a mental block. Why should we read anyone’s blog?  Anyone can blog. They just need an Email. Why do we care what blogger guy thinks? Who am I to think that I can really offer something people actually want to read? People’s blogs can sometimes be a bit weird. So then…I had a break through. I just like to write. There it is….. problem solved. Stop being such a head case and have a good time. So I’m going to write about what I want. I have a crazy story that is not slowing down, so I’m going to write about it as honestly as I can and see where I end up. If your encouraged, awesome! If not, thats ok too. Read the enquirer.

Keller out.